On a Saturday morning in Nuerkie’s room

ELORM

I have been in a state of confusion since my date with Chris on Wednesday. On one hand, his honesty is quite refreshing but being with someone who doesn’t go to church? And his stance on intimacy? This is crazy, I can not wait for Wednesday, I hope he will change his mind then. I shut my eyes and said a silent prayer. ‘’Dear Lord, This man is almost perfect, make him change his mind’’.

I spent Friday night at Nuerkie’s, she had just broken up Matthew, her boyfriend of eight months. She was sad about it, she had not yet opened up about her reasons. I had not yet told her about Chris’ and I situation. Nuerkie is your typical strict babe, I was not ready for the truth. She will tell me to let him go. Can’t God work some pharaoh magic on him? To give him a sudden change of heart?. The sound of the bathroom door slamming interrupted my thoughts.

‘’Nuerkie, what did Matthew do?” I asked after I noticed her mood improve.

‘’nothing really, we constantly argue about one thing. To me, that is a red flag’’ she said

‘’what is it?’’ I asked.

‘’Money’’ she answered

‘’How? I know he is richer than you . So what could be the problem?’’ I asked, confused.

‘’Yes, he is wealthier than me. But we both have separate mentalities about it. I will not deny the fact that I grew up privileged, you know this. Basic needs and money have never been a problem. With Mathew, that is not the same. I am proud of him, he was not born wealthy but has managed to make a name for himself. The problem here is Matthew is the sole provider of his family. That I can overlook, but not only his family. He is the richest man in his friendship group. It would be different if these friends also tried to create their own wealth. No, they just want to be leeches. He says he has to provide for them because they are his day ones. This is fine but that should not affect our life’’ she narrated.

‘’Hmmmmmm! This is dicey but is a break up not extreme?’’ I said.

‘’There have been countless scenarios. First case, I wanted us to go for holidays in Italy, a two week holiday. He says let us make it one week. Now that I can compromise. It is time to book a hotel. However, he does not understand why I want to sleep in a luxurious hotel for a week. And that we should do three days there and perch with my cousins for the rest. I found it so ridiculous because I wanted to pay for the hotel myself. He noticed my displeasure and suggested an AirBnB so we will not always have to eat outside. That we can buy ingredients and cook together. Do I look like I want to cook on vacation? Then what is the essence? He later said the trip is beginning to sound too expensive. Not because he can not afford his share but one of his boys needs a loan. Hence let us spend the weekend in Prampram. From Italy to Prampram, at least meet me halfway at Sao Tome. I had already compromised by deciding to fly economy premium instead of business.’’ She narrated.

‘’Hmmmmm. In a way I understand him but the Italy trip can be saved for honeymoon?’’ I said, trying to side with Matthew.

‘’Maybe the trip example is too excessive. Anytime the discussion about future plans for our children come up, I get discouraged. I went to private schools except senior high. I want a better standard for my future children, I suggested we send them to international schools. He vehemently disagreed, that they will just be spoilt brats with no proper life experience. I did my Bachelors and Masters in foreign universities, I know the doors and connections it opened for me. I want the same for my kids as well. He claimed he went to university in Ghana. He turned out all right. So our kids can do the same. Moreover, if he spends all his money on the foreign universities. What money will be left to take his family members to school? I get he wants to uplift his family but not to the detriment of our future children. To Matthew, it worked for him so it is okay for his children. They need to be ‘hard’. To me, the standard for my children must get better, life is hard already. They will definitely face difficulties but those difficulties should not come from parents. I love Matthew but I love my soft life more. We will never see eye to eye when it comes to money. In every situation, whenever I see a better option, Matthew sees the cheaper option. Sometimes being cheap will cost you.’’ she said and I let out a sigh.

‘’wow. I get it now. There will always be some contention. Awww! Sorry my dear’’ I said and hugged her.

‘’Enough about me. How are things with Chris?’’ she asked.

‘’Great!’’ I lied.

We had to get dressed for the 70^th birthday party of my Auntie Esi. Nuerkie and I have always been together since high school. At this point, she is basically family.

WORLA

In a family where everyone gets married in their 20s, I hate going for gatherings. I feel uncomfortable as an unmarried 33-year-old woman. The unwanted sympathetic looks and the side comments are exhausting. There are three reasons why I am going for this party. First, to keep my mother happy and allow her to show off her daughter’s new car. Second, it is my favourite auntie’s birthday. Lastly, I get to see Uncle Rodney. The ‘wayward’ uncle to everybody but a sweetheart to Elorm and I.

Most of my mother’s side of the family were ‘elites’. They loved the traditional route to success, lawyer, doctor, banker etc. Hence I was their favourite till I started working in a perfume shop with my friend. Now I am back to being a semi-favourite because of my job. Semi because I am not married. Elorm is a close second because she is able to stomach their back handed compliments. Uncle Rodney is deemed “wayward’’ cause he dropped out of university to pursue music. He was successful for a while till his battle with depression. Now, he is better and owns one of the fastest growing bars in the city. His wife, Mercy is also a lifestyle blogger, she is so amazing at what she does. They still act like teenagers in love even after 10 years of marriage. Now that is what I want if I ever get married. His parents are not so proud of him. They are proud of his brother, Uncle Richmond, who is a surgeon. His wife is a Principal. They project the perfect marriage. However, Uncle Rodney and I know Richmond has a mistress. He takes her to a hotel in Ho every month.

I arrived at the venue, and as tradition demands. Greet all the elders first. Adzo, the Principal saw me.

‘’Ei Worla, is that you? Where are you growing fat to?’’ she said before I got to her.

‘’Good aftertoon Auntie Adzo, I am growing fat into the air’’ I replied

‘’oh, why so snippy? I am just playing with you’’ she said and just as I was about to reply.

‘’Baby girl!!!’’ Uncle Rodney called out to me.

It is always good to see my favourite. He rushed to me before I got into it with Principal.

‘’Hii Uncle’’ I walked towards him.

‘’come help me fix some cocktails for the party people. Looks like only you, your dad and I will be the only ones taking alcohol. Everybody wants a mocktail’’ he said and rolled his eyes.

‘’then it is you and dad, maybe Elorm will join. I am the one driving the old folks’’ I said.

‘’that’s alright. lets go to the kitchen. Elorm is setting up the cake with those topper things’’

We walked to the kitchen and kept chatting about life.

‘’Aha! Elorm, your mother mentioned one Chris Riverson came to the house. Is it the same Chris that owns your office building?’’ Uncle Rodney asked Elorm

‘’That is why we do not tell mummy everything, and yes he is the one’’ Elorm replied.

‘’Correct Big man ooo.’’ I added.

‘’Serious! Don’t blame your mother, she knows the information would have gotten to me eventually. She just skipped the middleman’’ Uncle joked.

‘’What do you know about him?’’ I asked in a curious tone.

‘’Only good things, I remember performing at his sister’s birthday in my music days. Is he my future in-law? If yes, I already have a business idea to pitch’’ he asked.

‘’I don’t know yet. Things are looking up, we like each other but it is too early to tell’’ Elorm replied

‘’Do you love him?’’ uncle asked

‘’I do’’ she answered

‘’does he love you?’’ he asked

‘’yes.’’ Elorm answered.

‘’Do you want to have children of your own?’’ he asked

‘’Defintely uncle, but not now. I still have to figure my life out. Uncle why all these questions?’’ she asked.

‘’ can you afford to freeze your eggs?’’ he asked.

‘’I enquired once but it is crazy expensive so no, I can not.’’ she said.

‘’Then, get pregnant for him’’ uncle stated.

‘’Ah Uncle Rodney!!!’’ Nuerkie, Elorm and I all exclaimed.

ELORM

I was dumbfounded by Uncle’s sudden outburst.

‘’why are you ladies shouting? What did I say wrong?’’ he asked.

Just then his wife, stepped in. He pulled her close and planted a kiss on her cheek. Uncle does not play with his wife.

‘’What are we talking about?’’ Mercy, his wife asked.

‘’Babe, picture this. You are single, you have your own job and money. You have plans of settling down and having children. Then you meet a young rich man who loves you and you love him. Things are looking good, he probably has plans of marrying you. He is kind, generous and from an influential home. A surname that will open doors for your child. A true provider. What is your next line of action?’’ he asked her.

‘’Depends. Are his family members nice?’’ she asked.

‘’Let me not waste my time, for example someone from Riverson-Addo family’’ he added.

‘’Then I am getting pregnant, remember the bofrot¹ seller whose life changed. Just because she got pregnant for one of their uncles. They say they don’t throw children away in that family. If the Riverson blood runs in your veins, you are set up for life. They put her through school and all. If it is a Riverson, I am definitely popping a baby out’’ she said.

‘’You two really deserve each other, see your mentality’’ Worla commented.

‘’They really do. Pregnancy is a bit extreme Uncle. People die during pregnancy and pregnancy trap is so old school’’ I said.

‘’It is a trap if the person does not want children. This one wants, you are just fast forwarding the process. Elorm, you will be 31 soon. I believe every woman should have a choice. But you have expressed wishes of having your own children. It is in your plan. You can never get all the money in the world. God has presented you with a golden opportunity, take it by the balls. The fact that you are planning to eat fufu for dinner does not mean you can not chew small agbelikaklo²!!!!’’ he emphasized.

‘’Uncle, I want to get married and then have children like God intended it.’’ I argued.

“If God intended it that way, Jesus would not have come through a virgin. He would have come through an ordinary couple expecting a child. Life is all about strategies Elorm, breed carefully. Don’t follow love all the time’’ uncle added.

‘’ You mentioned pregnancy being extreme. People do die from pregnancy but people also die from car accidents, earthquakes and a myriad of reasons. Here today, gone tomorrow. If it is your plan to get pregnant, get ready to face it. This one sef, if you apply pressure, they can fly you outside for better conditions. Think about it ooo’’ Mercy added.

‘’Uncle, but you married for love. See how you and Auntie Mercy are happy’’ I said.

‘’what Mercy and I share is rare and special. Not only love, there is wealth, respect, lust and obsession. I genuinely love this woman. After careful research, not a lot of people have it. Most of the people I know got married as a sense of duty. Just a handful thought they were in love. Others did it cause it felt like a natural step in life. Trust me, you can look for what we have. But it is not going to be easy and it is not the same. Come here my love’’ he said and kissed her.

‘’Instead of you to pray for us to get our own person. See what you are saying’’ Nuerkie argued.

‘’I am praying.  I want it to happen for you girls, honestly. But just as everybody prays to be a billionaire, it is impossible. Not everybody gets perfection and that is okay.’’ he said.

‘’God forbid ooo, we will get perfection in Jesus’name’’ Nuerkie exclaimed finally.

‘’AMEN’’ we all added.

‘’Amen but faith without works is dead. Elorm, face the reality and get pregnant for that man!! God will forgive you, He understands. After all, be fruitful and multiply’’ Uncle Rodney said and sipped his cocktail.

”Me sef, I will even give birth to three to solidify my stance” Mercy said and we all giggled.

Everybody at the party enjoyed the birthday cake and I got to book more orders. The Principal, Auntie Adzo then walked up to me.

‘’I hear you bake cake now’’ she said.

‘’yes Auntie’’

‘’so what happened to the job at Oceans?’’ she asked in a snide tone.

‘’I still work there’’ I said.

‘’ah okay, this one too is good. The icing was a bit too much for me, this will also help you meet new people. Who knows? I will be coming to your wedding next year.’’ She said.

‘’hahahahhahahahah’’ I forced my laughter and she walked away.

Auntie Esi, the celebrant called me aside.

‘’Thank you so much Elorm, God bless you and bless the work of your hand. May your business flourish and send you to higher heights. Any weapon fashioned to distract or destroy this path you have chosen, we cancel it. May you hear the voice of the Lord and do His will’’ she prayed over me. Auntie Esi’s prayers are always simple but they find a way to touch your heart.

‘’Amen! Auntie, I should be the one praying for you’’ I said as I hugged her.

‘’I have lived a blessed life. All I can do now is pray for everybody. Call Worla for me’’ she said.

Worla went to her, I did not hear what she said to Worla. But I saw Worla break down and cry, they hugged each other.

Back at home..

‘’Uncle Rodney has a point oo’’ Worla said as the two of us were watching a movie.

‘’He does not. That is bad advice and you know it’’ I said.

‘’well, it makes sense since you want to have kids’’ she said emphasizing on ‘you’.

‘’don’t you want to have kids?’’ I asked

‘’No I don’t think so. I don’t even think I want to get married’’ Worla said.

‘’Ei! Don’t let Mama hear this and Worla, let positive things come out of your mouth’’ I warned.

‘’Honestly, maybe that is the reason why I have commitment issues. The way other ladies dream about a wedding and children. The whole wife and mother life, I have never had that desire. I pictured myself owning a villa, gardening, hanging out with friends. Very rich and successful, doing the occasional interviews and having a bestseller’’ she said with a dreamy expression.

‘’what about old age? You will need children!’’ I said.

‘’it is not a guarantee. People have children all the time who abandon them in their old age. Some lose all of them. You are one accident away from losing everything. I feel there is a whole world out there for me to explore on my own. Having a husband and children will slow me down. Moreover, you can not make impromptu decisions or take risks with your career. You always have to consider them. ‘’ she said openly. I have never heard Worla speak like this in my life.

‘’where is all this from?’’ I asked

‘’Maybe seeing Mama not live up to her full potential. I don’t know. I just know that when I visualize a husband and children. It looks more like a cage than love’’ she expressed.

‘’But there are other examples. Auntie Mercy is doing amazing and crushing her goals’’ I said.

‘’As uncle Rodney said, what they have is rare. If I find it, fine, but I am not going to chase after a husband. I am tired of seeing women beg for these things well into their old age. I will enjoy life, I will embrace it.’’she said.

‘’I think you should talk to Pastor Jochebed about this. Like a deep conversation because I certainly do not have the words for you. This is unfair’’ I said and hugged her.

‘’In what way?’’ she asked.

‘’I want my children to have cousins. Please reconsider your thoughts’’ I pleaded.

‘’Sure, I will’’ she said but I was not convicned.

Worla has no plans of settling down. This will definitely send Mama into a frenzy. I need to find a way to break the news to Mama. We need to pray for Worla intensely.

As I lay on my bed to sleep. I kept thinking of my own predicament and future. I admire Nuerkie’s drive to stand for what she wants. Worla too is going the unconventional route. Here I am, not knowing where I stand with Chris and even my job.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, I got a text message from Uncle Rodney. He sent me the benefits Georgina Rodriguez enjoys as a baby mother of three for Cristiano Ronaldo. She is even engaged to him now. Not the traditional route. He also added various articles of other women who were enjoying life because they became baby mothers to wealthy men. As well as, people who started families the unconventional way. I am happy for those women but deep down. That is not what I want. I want love, comfort, and family. I want a home filled with warmth, cars in the driveway, and the joy of driving my children around. My husband and I will live contentedly, without worries or needs, sharing a strong bond with our children. That shouldn’t be too difficult for God to grant or so hard to find. So why does the future feel so uncertain and bleak?

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, Chris’ elder sister Carmen and his cousin Izzy were seated at the cozy patio of his house in Aburi. After a huge meal of fufu, they relaxed in the shade enjoying the mountain breeze.

CHRIS

‘’so when are we meeting Sunshine?’’ Carmen asked

‘’Sunshine? I like that name. who is that?’’ Izzy asked as he picked his whiskey tumbler.

‘’she always bring out a smile whenever Mr. Dimples talks to her’’ Carmen teased.

‘’hm, I would like to meet her. Can I see a picture?’’ Izzy asked.

‘’nope’’ I lied, I was admiring the pictures I took of her earlier on Wednesday. Before the visit went sour.

‘’I have a couple’’ Carmen said as she looked through her phone.

‘’how did you get them? I am sure it is Gwen’’ I figured , those two gossiped too much.

‘’damn!!!!! Wow. Sunshine in deed! She’s nice. This my brother likes big things oo’’ Izzy joked still looking at the pictures.

‘’give me my phone back, I can see the lust in your eyes already’’ . Carmen said as she snatched her phone.

‘’I hope mummy has not seen them yet’’ I warned.

‘’of course not, but mother has been enjoying her chips and cookies. She just doesn’t know it is from Sunshine. Gwen orders them for her’’ Carmen said.

‘’you ladies will do anything for the plot’’ I exclaimed.

‘’Definitely. Imagine how excited she will be when she finds out. The person who bakes her favourite chips will be her in-law,’’ Carmen said in a giddy tone. Izzy laughed.

‘’well , that might not be happening so hold your horses’’ I said.

‘’why? Whats up? ‘’ Izzy and Carmen asked.

‘’we have certain differences, compromises we both do not want to make’’ I said.

‘’well, we have all day. What kind of compromise?’’ Carmen asked

‘’first she wants me to go to church. You guys already know how I feel about that’’ I said.

‘’come on Chris, that is easy. Just go to church, I wasn’t catholic till I married Diane.  That was her only condition, now I go to mass, as well as the children. Though she is no more, it has become part of us. It is not so bad, once a week will not kill you Chris’’ Izzy argued.

‘’Wo y3 Kwasia paa ³, you are willing to let this girl go because of two hours a week. Just go and sit at a service for two hours. A former staunch church goer, this should be a walk in the park’’ Carmen added.

‘’it is easy but I do not like to do things for the sake of someone. It never works especially when it comes to religion’’ I argued.

‘’okay, let us hear the other compromises’’ Izzy interrupted Carmen who was about to insult me again.

‘’just one more, she wants to abstain’’ I said.

‘’she’s a virgin?’’ Izzy asked.

‘’Nope, but this time she wants to do things the right way’’ I said.

‘’so? You have been celibate before. For like 2 years, this isn’t new’’ Carmen said

‘’it is easy to be celibate when you are not attracted to the person. Try it with someone you are attracted to’’ I stated.

‘’After seeing sunshine’s picture, that will be hard. But it is not impossible. Who knows? she might give it up earlier than expected? One year celibate is not the end of the world’’ Izzy said.

‘’Look, you know me already. I do not want to pretend. Being celibate is easy when both of you decide. If I do it for her sake, the day she is weak. I will take advantage and she will hate me for it’’ I said.

‘’you can be so stupid, it is amazing.’’ Carmen said

‘’Watch your mouth’’ I threatened.

‘’Relax both of you. The compromises you mentioned are not that difficult in my opinion. You are just overthinking’’ Izzy said.

‘’They are so easy to do. I thought she asked for your bank account details or an NDA. But this is the easiest we have seen ever since you started dating. No wonder you are single at thirty-six. You are not honest, you are lazy’’ Carmen said.

‘’so you rather I lie to her. I am not a hypocrite’’ I said.

‘’don’t lie, but try. That is a relationship Chris, it is about trying. Dating and relationships, you try. If it does not work , you quit’’ Izzy said.

‘’you know your problem , you treat everything like a project’’ Carmen slammed.

‘’I don’t think that is a bad thing’’ I retorted.

‘’Not everything in life works that way, we are talking about human beings and feelings. To you, if it does not meet your KPIs, you are out. People like you plan everything to a T. One day, life will show you that you are not in control. This will happen in the most unexpected way,’’ Carmen said.

‘’I still believe in planning. If the relationship is not going to work from the start , why bother?’’ I asked.

‘’so you are going to throw away the most perfect woman all because of sex?’’ Izzy asked

‘’And church’’ I added.

‘’Carmen and I have established the church thing is bullshit. You can go once a week, you are not a demon. It looks like the intimacy is more like a headache for you’’ Izzy argued.

‘’Statisitcs show that most marriages break because of these three, finances, religion and sex/infidelity. Two out of the three is already looking shaky. Why continue?’’ I asked.

‘’Update your statistics my dear, religion is no longer part, it is domestic violence’’ Carmen said.

‘’I think you are rushing. Take your time Chris. Do not rush into a decision’’ Izzy said.

‘’Chris must always decide. This man has no waiting period. His longest wait is a week. However, a decision must still be made,’’ Carmen joked.

‘’is your week up?’’ Izzy asked.

‘’on Wednesday’’ I answered.

‘’so what are you going to tell her?’’ Izzy asked.

‘’I don’t know yet. I have two more days. I will definitely take your suggestions into consideration and see where this goes’’ I said.

‘’I do not know her but I have heard great things from Gwen. I love her pastries too. Do not blow this one up’’ Carmen pleaded.

‘’ We-Want-Sun-shine’’ Izzy chanted and Carmen joined easing the tension. We all laughed as we made our way back indoors.

LEXICONS

1. Bofrot- A popular Ghanaian fried doughnut snack
2. Agbelikaklo – A traditional Ewe snack made from grated cassava and spices, deep-fried into small round or oval shapes.
3. Wo y3 Kwasia paa- A strong insult in Twi — used to call someone very foolish or senseless.

Author’s Note

Thank you for the support. Is Uncle Rodney right?