ELORM

I rushed to the car to pick up some clothes so I can spend the rest of the weekend with Chris. I stuffed them in a bag and sent them to the spare room. Last night was something else. I wore a t-shirt and shorts and decided to make pancakes for us. Chris is so organised, it was easy to find the ingredients. As I mixed the batter, I got a notification on my phone. It was a message from Nana. I opened it and it read

‘’Last night’s rain  made me miss you so much. This morning, you should be in my kitchen making pancakes as we get ready for part 2. Are you sure you don’t miss me too?’’

He added a picture of him lying in bed showing off his chiseled chocolate chest. I rolled my eyes at it and replied, ”not at all”. Thanks to Chris, I know the difference between subpar sex and great sex. As I poured the batter into the pan, I had an epiphany. This is what I always do, this is my cycle. Two weeks ago, Chris did not even want to be friends. Just yesterday, we decided to stay friends. Why did I let my feelings take control last night? Now, I am making pancakes for him just like Nana. What is the point of doing wife duties when I do not even know where Chris stands? Will I continue to be the best girlfriend hoping Chris changes his mind? He still has not changed his stance on church service or intimacy. I pictured my future, another long period of waiting for a man to make a decision.

I was so lost in thought that I burnt the first pancake. I quickly fried the rest and rushed back to the spare room to put my bag back in the car. I need to hurry before he wakes up. I picked up an empty note pad and pen, I tried writing something emotional. Well, fuck Chris for dictating everything single stage of our connection. Let us just blame last night on wine, weather and hormones. I then wrote a simple message

‘’Last night scratched an itch. Nothing more. Goodbye Forever. Love, Elorm’’

That should be it, if he cannot compromise for me. He does not deserve me. For once, someone has to work for my love not the other way round. I entered my car and drove off.

The roads were still wet but most of the floodwaters had subsided. There was garbage all over, billboards had fallen and I noticed some stores and kiosks had been destroyed. The rains caused a lot of damages. I started feeling guilty about the night before. I was not in the mood to go to church. I still was not talking to Nuerkie so I drove to Anna’s instead.

At Anna’s

She welcomed me with glee.

‘’ Ei Madam! where are you from? ‘’ she hugged me

‘’long story’’ I answered.

‘’this one, you are from a man’s place because you do not smell like your usual vanilla. This is sandalwood, and I know you are not really a fan’’ Anna said.

‘’Ei! Madam Fraghead¹! Yes I slept somewhere but it was an accident. I was trapped by the rains’’ I answered.

‘’where? Spill? Chris?’’ she asked with her eyes wide open.

‘’Yes’’ I answered and narrated how I got there. I did not give her all the details.

‘’you guys were intimate? Explain further with the intimacy, I want details. Paint me a picture.’’ She was so interested.

 I then described how Nana stalked me to the hotel. Then with Chris, how my intention was to just pick up my blazer and ended up staying over.

‘’I do not know if it was the weather or Nana kickstarted something in me. I just wanted to be held and loved so I went to Chris room and what happened happened. Now I feel guilty and dirty’’ I said

‘’Hm’’ she remarked and pursed her lips like she was holding back.

‘’Hm what?’’ I asked

‘’Elorm, there is no underlying reason or some dramatic explanation. It is quite simple. You were horny and got some’’ she said.

‘’really?’’ I exclaimed

‘’Yes and that is okay my dear. In case you have forgotten, it is part of growing up. You have always had an active sex life, and then for two and a half years, you stopped. It was easy to be celibate due to lack of opportunity’’ Anna said.

‘’hey! I was not gnashing²’’ I said

‘’no, you are like Chris somehow. You need a connection before you do it. When the connection happened, all walls fell. This was the true test of your celibacy, if you were choosing it due to lack of opportunity or because you really wanted to. You know something?’’ she asked

‘’what?’’ I asked

‘’it doesn’t matter. We fall and we rise up, that is life. You slipped, accept that but remember to move on. Close this chapter and analyse, ask yourself. Why am I abstaining? I feel you chose the path of celibacy to punish yourself for staying with Nana for so long. If yes, that is not the right motivation. Search within yourself and find it’’ Anna said.

I got pensive for a moment, Anna was right about questioning my motive for abstinence. Apart from my religion admonishing it, I need to look within myself and figure it out.

‘’before you get all emotional on me, please, I beg you for the love of God. My ears sweet me. How was it with Chris?’’ she pleaded.

‘’I am a lady and I will not give details’’ I stated.

‘’Ahhh see human being oooo!!! when I am telling you about my escapades, you open your ears and even correct my notes’’  she exclaimed.

‘’okay okay, all I can say is. I didn’t know my body could produce that much water. I will leave it at that’’ I said and she fell on the floor dramatically.

‘’I salute Mr. Riverson. How was his plate cleaning skills?’’ she asked with a wink.

‘’My dear, best in the game. I nearly broke his neck with excitement. I just remembered, see what Nana sent me’’ I said and showed her the message and picture he sent.

‘’Hahahahhahahahahah! Let me just ask. Was Chris better than Nana? On a scale of one to ten’’ she asked.

‘’Anna, I am not comfortable with this conversation. I have said enough’’ I pleaded.

‘’That is my last question, I promise. Scale please!’’ she said

‘’Nana is a strong 6 but Chris is a 10. Now lets dead this conversation’’ I said .

‘’Mr. Riverson, I salute. So what did he say? Are you guys dating? Staying friends?’’ she asked and I scratched the back of my head. I told her how I felt when I got the message from Nana and the note I left.

‘’Eiii!!! Women like you are dangerous Elorm, you gave him the ‘One Last Hit’ move.’’ She said

‘’one last hit? What are you on about?’’ I asked

‘’it is a term I have heard, just to mess up with someone you like or get back at them. Revenge sex’’ she said.

‘’that was not my intention. I just got scared of repeating the same cycle. Anna, I carried my bag to his spare room ooo. I was ready to spend the weekend and was planning on taking Monday off. It scared me! Nana’s message was timely and it saved me. It was like a mirror was held to my face’’ I said.

‘’I understand, at least Nana’s persistence has done something right, for once. But for Chris, he must really be confused. Knowing you, Chris might also be fascinated.” she said.

”What do mean by that?” I asked.

”Ah Elorm, before you became serious with Christ after Nana. You gave me notes ooo, that is how I trapped my Mark. I remember the lessons at Dede’s bridal shower where you demonstrated with the pillow” she joked.

”OMG! those were meant for the married woman not you!! I was really something else. Thank God for growth!” I exclaimed, slightly embarrassed about my past

“Amen oo, we thank God! Now I cannot wait for Mark to come down and turn on my fountain’’ she said gesturing to her pelvic area.

‘’Hahahahhahahaha, you silly goose’’ I said.

”I am still open to more lessons ooo, I will also be a married woman soon” she joked.

”Check online Madam” I said and we both laughed.

CHRIS

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I totally forgot Izzy and Carmen were coming over for Sunday lunch. This time Izzy said he will bring the food which will definitely be kenkey³. Izzy had a spare key, my bedroom door was open so I could hear them move about in the kitchen downstairs. Carmen shouted my name a couple of times. I slowly got up and dragged my feet downstairs.

‘’hey, the kenkey seller disappointed so we brought Chinese. Her house got flooded due to the rains’’ Izzy greeted.

‘’I just reheated these pancakes, they are good!’’ Carmen said with her mouthful.

‘’Let me taste’’ Izzy took a bite.

‘’Who made them? Definitely not the Chef or you. OMG! Sunshine?’’ Carmen asked and I nodded my head.

‘’Whoaaa! I thought you ended it. No contact at all. I am confused. What is happening?’’ Carmen asked.

I sat on one of the kitchen bar stools and narrated how everything happened except the note and pancakes.

‘’so like is she upstairs or something?’’ Izzy asked.

I dipped my hand in my pocket and brought out the scrunched-up note. I have not been able to throw it away.

‘’Now that’s my kind of woman!’’ Izzy exclaimed

‘’Respect! Is that why you are sad? I thought you always wanted to hit it. Plus you didn’t want to resume church service or have a relationship with her. So, why the long face?’’ Carmen asked.

‘’Oh no! you caught more feelings! ‘’Izzy exclaimed and covered his mouth.

‘’I am still confused’’ Carmen said.

‘’He got emmm… what is the male version of dickmatised? …ah! Pussywhipped! Yep that’s it’’ Izzy said and they both burst into laughter.

‘’I am not .. forget it!’’ I exclaimed in defence.

‘’I mean, I need her number. I should take notes because none of my exes have such a puppy faces. They only miss my money. Wow! Sunshine really finish work! I honestly didn’t think she had this in her. Have you called her or sent a message?’’ Carmen asked.

‘’BLOCKED!’’ I said.

‘’Ermm, Instagram?’’ Izzy asked.

‘’BLOCKED’’ I answered.

‘’Snapchat?’’ Carmen asked

‘’DOUBLE BLOCKED, even on her business accounts. She really does not want me…anymore’’ I said.

‘’Just call Gwen’’ Izzy said.

‘’Oh No! Elorm is flexible but one warning I got from her was DO NOT mix her professional life with her love life. Do not mess with her bread! she respected my boundary when I asked her to, I have to extend the same courtesy’’ I said.

‘’you own the building she works in, just appear’’ Izzy said.

‘’No, do not! Look! she clearly does not want to see you anytime soon. Getting into her space will make her resent you. Let her breathe and even when you see her, what are you going to tell her?’’ Carmen asked.

‘’I just want to know if … I need … ‘’ I stuttered.

‘’Chris, you do not always have to be in control. For once, someone beat you to it. Accept it! She accepted your ultimatums with grace, now thanks for scratching her itch. Nothing more’’ Izzy said and snickered.

‘’You said you do not like messy situations. Do you want to keep scratching her itches? As what? You are the one person I know who hates friends with benefits and all other grey areas. She saw you for the control freak you were and took the reins. I am proud of her’’ Carmen said.

‘’I am not a control freak, Carmen’’ I argued.

‘’you are my brother, I know you. You even went to see her mother without asking Sunshine for permission. You framed it as a surprise. I was shocked she was not mad at you. Madam loves you so much she didn’t realise that was wrong. It would have been my red flag. Oh yeah and then bribing Gwen and choosing her day off. I warned you, human beings have feelings’’ Carmen said.

‘’Yo! Relax Carmen, let us not kick our brother while he is down. Chris, just give it time. We will figure it out later. Come on, lets’ eat’’ Izzy ended the conversation.

Carmen went to take a nap in my room as I drank whiskey with Izzy.

‘’I know what you are thinking, give her space’’ Izzy said after observing me.

‘’How long? I am so confused, one moment she wants no intimacy in her relationship. The next she is in my bed. Then she leaves like it was nothing. I know what happened, Izzy. I was sober and remember everything ‘’ I said.

‘’The fact that she wants to abstain does not mean she doesn’t have feelings. Her message was clear, she got itchy and you scratched it. Simple. Nothing more, stop trying to deduce it or overanalyse. Even if you see her, what are you going to say? Have you changed your stance? Do you want to continue being friends?’’ Izzy asked

‘’Not really, I am willing to do the church service but I can not promise with intimacy’’ I said

‘’hmmm, are you changing your mind?’’ he asked.

‘’I don’t know Izzy’’ I answered.

‘’exactly why you should give her space, figure out what you want from her before you approach her. Wow….For once, you do not know what to do with a woman. This is new, I like how Sunshine is making you think. No more, my way or the high way’’ Izzy said.

”Fuck off” I exclaimed and we both laughed

Later in the evening after everyone was gone, I went for the hoodie Elorm left on the bed. I sniffed it, it smelt like a mixture of her and my perfume. I miss her already, I tried calling one more time. The line did not go through. I am not getting any younger, did I just blow my last chance with love? I hope not.

Three weeks later

ELORM

I have resisted the urge to unblock Chris. Orders have been increasing for the past weeks, I barely get enough sleep. I had perfected my baking skills and expanded to pies, quiche and all other goods. I just needed a few courses to become a pastry chef. I guess I have found my path. Seeing people enjoy my pastries always made me happy. This new menu additions increased the orders. It is difficult balancing work with a business. I am always exhausted and dehydrated. In addition, one of Nuerkie’s shops that stocks up on achoomo and cookies had tripled their order.

I was dozing off at my desk when a parcel arrived for me. It was a box of chocolates from Nuerkie, apologising for her actions. She had made up with Anna, I am ready to forgive her. I read a saying online that we need to give our girl friendships as much chances we give our boyfriends. I miss her though, I sent her a message and scheduled an ice cream date after work.

Gwen called me into her office for a meeting. I sat at the meeting table.

‘’Okay Elorm, this meeting is about your promotion. I thought I will let you know before you receive the email from HR. Quite unfortunately, it is not happening this year. I apologise, this is due to financial constraints, but let us keep hope alive. Keep working hard and next year, it will definitely happen. I tried my best but senior management had other priorities, your hard work is very much appreciated. They recognise what you do and are willing to increase your salary by 10%. I know it may be unsatisfactory but next year will definitely be your year ’’ Gwen said.

‘’Thank you’’ I answered in a sad tone.

‘’In addition, I want to get this out of the way. Do not let this news discourage you. You are a professional, but for the past two weeks you have been slacking a bit. You doze off at your desk, you have been late to work almost everyday. I do not know what the challenge is , but would you like to enlighten me?’’ Gwen asked.

I knew it was my baking business taking all my time. I need to get better at my time management.

‘’it is just some personal issues. I promise to do better in the coming weeks’’ I said.

‘’I will be giving you four days off starting from tomorrow to fix those issues’’ Gwen said.

‘’I do not need it Gwen, I will do better’’ I said.

‘’Have you looked in the mirror lately? You have dark circles round your eyes, your eyes are heavy and you have dehydrated lips. Please take the days off, and rest or sort whatever it is’’ Gwen insisted.

I was stacking up my holidays for Christmas baking season and now I am short by four days thanks to Gwen. Well, I will use these days to reset and rest.

Ice cream date with Nuerkie

‘’Awwwwww I miss you so much! I am so sorry for everything’’ Nuerkie shrieked as she greeted me.

‘’I miss you too’’ I hugged her back. It was such good feeling to be back with my bestie.

‘’Are you okay? You look exhausted’’ she said.

‘’everything is stressing me out, from work to baking to life’’ I said.

I proceeded to mention my promotion denial and how orders were trooping in.

‘’I want to quit my job. What do you think?’’ I said.

‘’Give the business a year, I will advise that. Orders are piling up because end of the year is event season. People who have lost their loved ones do not want to bury them next year. Others want to have their events before Christmas and do not forget the Christmas orders itself. Let us see how January and February goes, we will look at the numbers and see what we can do. If it is looking good, then you can quit and pursue baking full time.’’ Nuerkie advised

‘’this is why I miss you. My voice of reason, even though that voice can be harsh and irritating sometimes’’ I said

‘’I am learning to do better. Moreover before you quit fully, you need to sort your FDA_⁴ and EPA⁵ documents. That will help you get more contracts with organisations. I have a friend who is expanding his restaurant, he wants a constant supplier of pastries for the breakfast and desert menu. But that can only happen after your certifications and clearance. Let me know when you are ready, I will have my connect give you the guidelines. Before you quit Oceans, we need a constant contract that will at least keep the lights on. Then you can quit. The restaurant contract will be a good start because he constantly caters to workers in the area’’ she advised.

‘’Great! let me use my leave days for it’’ I said

‘’Please use these days to rest, you need it. We will sort the documentations later. Rest is also important Elorm or you will break down. If sleeping at home will be a distraction, you can come over to mine or Chris’’ she suggested trying to fish for information.

‘’definitely yours, the last time I was on leave at home. I became the official errand girl. Auntie Dee does not understand rest, either I prepare all the meals for the day or drive her around. This time, right after baking straight to your apartment to sleep’’ I said.

‘’hahahhahaha good for you’’ Nuerkie said.

I watched her resist the urge to ask a follow up question. We ordered our ice cream and spoke about Anna’s wedding plans and how we intend to party.

‘’you are really trying. I can see your throat is about to explode from not asking about my love life’’ I joked and she laughed.

‘’OMG yes! But I am learning that I have to allow my friends share what they are comfortable with’’ she said.

I narrated everything, from how I left my blazer in the office, to Nana at the retreat, to going for my blazer, opening my legs, the note I left after Nana’s message then to Anna and what we spoke about.

‘’Awwww, how are you feeling about all this?’’ Nuerkie asked

‘’Oh wow! No I told you so?’’ I asked

‘’It does not change anything. What has happened has happened. My problem with all this is Nana, what is wrong with that guy?’’ she said and I laughed.

‘’My sister, I don’t know oooo, ‘’ I exclaimed.

‘’so have you reflected on what Anna said, about finding the reason for your abstinence?’’ she asked

‘’yes, she was right. I was trying to punish myself. Now I need to figure out what I want’’ I answered.

‘’that is great! Another thing if I may add is. Ask God for strength, you cannot fight this celibacy battle on your own. Apart from praying , take practical steps. I try not to be in romantic spaces with my significant other for long’’ Nuerkie said.

‘’You get tempted too? I find it hard to believe’’ I said.

‘’you have no idea. Why do you think I book separate rooms whenever I travel with my boyfriends. I also schedule the trips when I am on my period. In addition, if I have to be in the same close space with them for long hours, I am wearing my ugliest underwear. For me, I have a big ego, the last thing I want a man to see is me in faded panties and a torn bra’’ she said .

‘’hahahahahahahha wow!!!!! You barely mention these’’ I said.

‘’Holy spirit will not hold lessons on these ooo. You have to find your hack. In addition, a man who wants the same also helps. I am not going to lie, those are rare’’ she said .

‘’very true. Seeing anybody?’’ I asked.

‘’not at the moment, Matthew tried fixing things but I do not want to get back. I like where I am at now. What about you? Since the intimacy question for Chris has been answered, what is the way forward?’’ she asked.

‘’I do not know. But I feel Chris should not be my focus now. I feel I need to get settled with my personal life before managing another person’s’’ I answered.

‘’hmmmmmmm, are you scared?’’ she asked.

‘’scared of what?’’ I asked

‘’from what I have heard. When it comes to Chris, your walls and panties come down fast’’ she joked. The sentence was too funny to be annoyed with her.

‘’Behave. You are still on probation’’ I warned trying to hold back laughter.

‘’I am sorry Ma, old habit. I mean, are you scared it might be worse than Nana? Nana did the barest minimum and trapped you for eight years. Chris is doing the most, look at that bracelet on your wrist, adding to the things he does with his tongue, who knows how long he will keep you in a trance?’’ she asked.

‘’tongue? I didn’t mention this earlier. OMG! Anna told you?’’ I was surprised.

‘’No, nobody told me anything but you just confirmed it. I am surprised how this trick works all the time’’ she said and I laughed.

‘’if you put it like that, yes, I am scared of losing myself with him. I just figured out my career and business path. I am more confident now than ever in who I am becoming. Diving in with Chris, might complicate where my head is. I was ready to drop everything to spend time with him to cater to his every need. This was someone who did not even want to be friends a few weeks earlier. I will talk to him when I am ready’’ I said.

‘’Alright, smart decision. Most importantly pray about it’’ she said.

We spoke at length and made plans for the future. As we walked to our cars, Nuerkie sat in the passenger’s seat of mine and prayed with me.

I broke down in tears, because she prayed about all my worries. It felt like a burden had been lifted.

I was happy we made up, even though Nuerkie can be annoying. She always wants what is best for me. Now time to relax and enjoy these four days off.

Author’s Note

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LEXICON

1. Fraghead – Slang for a fragrance enthusiast; someone deeply interested in perfumes and colognes
2. gnashing – ghanaian old pidgin for struggling, not finding a partner or love.
3. kenkey – A traditional Ghanaian fermented corn (maize) dough staple food, usually steamed and eaten with soup, stew, or pepper sauce.
4. FDA – (Food and Drugs Authority) in Ghana. The FDA is the national regulatory body that oversees the safety and quality of food, drugs, cosmetics, medical devices, and household chemicals.
5. EPA- (Environmental Protection Agency) is the government agency responsible for environmental regulation, including pollution control, environmental impact assessments, and climate-related policies.