In a shared apartment in Rotterdam. Worla had just finished her call with Elorm where she helped her chose an attire.

WORLA

It surprises me how much I miss my family and church. My room, car and mundane life of Accra. I will call Mama after the church. I have struggled to find a place of worship here. I always feel out of place at ones I have visited. Maybe with time, I will find a church that feels like home. Today, I will stream the service online as always. But first, let me make some breakfast.

I walked to the kitchen I share with Johann, my housemate. He is of mixed Austrian- Ghanaian heritage. I noticed he was making breakfast for his boyfriend, Xander.

‘’Hey Worla, do you want some of the waffles? I made more than enough’’ Johann greeted.

‘’That will be great, I was wondering what to prepare myself. Thank you.’’ I said and picked my plate. Xander appeared out of Johann’s room and greeted me.

‘’I wish I could eat waffles and keep a waistline like Worla’’ Xander commented as Johann served me.

‘’It is the gym and genetics my dear’’ I replied and we all giggled. I started walking away.

‘’Sit with us Worla, don’t be cooped up in your room. The weather is getting grey, seasonal depression is real. Let us all have breakfast like a happy threesome family’’ Johann joked.

I sat with them, a little company will not kill me. We ate and shared memories of Sunday family traditions we all had. I recounted Elorm’s date with Kurt and insistence on fufu every Sunday. I had to show a video to Xander to explain the task involved.

‘’damn! Your sister dodged a bullet’’ Xander exclaimed.

Just then, a message from Lante popped up on my phone. It was a picture of Elorm and Terry sitting together at church. He added a message ‘’Is that our new in-law?’’. I just replied ‘’Ask Elorm’’. After a few minutes, Jane, one of the ladies at church sent an image. I figured it will be another Terry and Elorm question. I opened it and it was a picture of Jonathan buying spring rolls. What caught my attention was in the background, I noticed Elorm was talking to someone and it looked like Chris from an angle. I rubbed my eyes to be sure.

‘’Is everything okay Mamacita?’’ Johann asked.

I then proceeded to show them both pictures.

‘’I want to be friends with your sister, your life is too boring’’ Johann exclaimed.

‘’Call her now!!’’ Xander exclaimed with curiosity.

‘’No, I do not know who she is with. She will definitely call me when she is done’’ I said.

‘’Keep us posted. I am so invested. Also, your sister has good taste. Those men look delicious, now I know where Johann gets his good looks from. Ghana, here we come’’ Xander commented.

‘’hahhahaha, yep yep’’ Johann replied basking in the compliment.

‘’Speaking of fine men, Worla, I haven’t seen you with anyone. It is just you all the time, or you like women?’’ Xander asked.

‘’hahaha, no I am straight but I am taking a break from relationships. Just focusing on my education and getting money’’ I answered.

‘’Alright , Miss Bossette! I get it! Respect but let me know when you are ready to get out there. I think you and one of my colleagues will make a good fit’’ Xander said.

‘’Noted’’ I replied.

I went back to my room and joined a service online. I ended up falling asleep halfway because I was too satisfied from the waffles. I was curious to text Elorm, what about Nuerkie? OMG! I need to get a life, see how I am invested in my little sister’s life who is across the ocean. Maybe it is time to put myself out there, but the dating scene in the Netherlands is not for beginners like me. I have to get ready to split all bills which sounds nice but will take some getting used to. Most times, when men constantly pay all bills, their entitlement towards you is absurd. Let me just rewatch the sermon and not fall asleep this time.

CHEF TERRY

Elorm looked stunned when she saw the gentleman named Chris. I drove us to one of the restaurants she’d once mentioned as her favourite. We had a nice meal but she was distracted. She kept fidgeting or gazing blankly. The next stop was Pinocchio for ice cream as dessert.

‘’Do you want us to eat here or take it home? ‘’ I asked as we entered the shop.

‘’Ermmm…home..no.. let us …anything you decide’’ she stuttered.

‘’Alright, let us have it here’’ I said.

I know Elorm has a sweet tooth but she was still distracted at the ice cream place. She barely ate and kept playing with the spoon, deep in thought.

‘’I have been quiet for too long. Is everything okay?’’ I asked

‘’Yeah, why do you ask?’’ she said.

‘’Your mind has been occupied since we left church. Is there something I should know about?’’ I asked

‘’Nothing.  What flavours did you order?’’ she tried to change the subject.

I indulged her for a bit as we spoke about ice cream flavours. We finished our ice cream and went back to the car. Before starting the engine, I faced her.

‘’What are we waiting for?’’ she asked. I took her hand.

‘’Elorm, one thing about growing up in a home is you learn to read people. This is not true for everyone, but this is the instance for me. I know when something is up. Ever since you saw the Chris guy, your mood changed. I guess he is an ex or you two have some unresolved drama’’ I stated.

‘’not an ex per say but we shared some ..look, forget Chris. I am having such a nice time’’ she said trying to look happy.

‘’Elorm, go and see this guy and talk. You need to figure it out. I am too grown to start a throuple. I am taking you home this instant, meet up with him or whatever. Call me when your head is clear’’ I said.

‘’Oh Chris..Terry..Terry’’ she went quiet when she noticed her mistake.

‘’Wow! That just proves me right. Let me drive you home’’ I said and let go of her hand.

‘’I am so sorry, forget him. Let us enjoy the rest of the afternoon’’ she pleaded.

‘’Elorm, I am not running away. Go home, call Mr. Chris and figure it out. I will be on standby when you make up your mind.Don’t take too long though. I will not wait forever’’ I said before starting the car. The drive to her place was so silent, you can hear a pin drop.

At her gate, I noticed her facial expression changed when she saw the car parked outside.

‘’Will you come in and greet my mother?’’ she asked.

‘’I can see you have a visitor and are you sure you want that? Tell your mother unfortunately I had to rush, I hope to meet her in the future’’ I said.

‘’Oh T! I do not like how this date is ending’’ she whined.

‘’It is alright’’ I said, took her hand and kissed it ‘’Talk to you later Elorm’’ I added and watched her walk indoors.

I have to guard myself once again but I doubt anything more can happen between us. I drove to the restaurant to try setting up for Monday. This task was not urgent but work helps me think. As I parked and opened the front door, another car drove in. I turned and it was Nuerkie.

‘’I thought you didn’t open on Sundays except festive seasons?’’ she asked as she popped her head out.

”We are closed, I just came to clear my head. Where are you going?’’ I asked and watched her step out of the car.

Nuerkie looked beautiful in a casual mustard dress that complemented her smooth dark skin and slender frame with perky bosom. I quickly stopped myself from admiring her.

‘’I was also checking out one of my shops nearby, then I saw you open the restaurant. But I am a workaholic not because I want to clear my head. Is everything okay? ‘’ she asked concerned.

‘’Sort of..have you had lunch yet? I can whip something up for you, in fact let me make you something. I need the distraction’’ I said.

‘’Well, who says no to free food? The jollof I ordered yesterday was superb. Terry, you dey cook rough’’ she praised.

I let her in and placed the closed sign in front. I went behind the bar so I could fix her a quick mocktail.

‘’So why are you here to clear your head? And isn’t Elorm supposed to assist you with that?’’ she asked.

‘’I am trying to clear my head because of her’’ I answered.

‘’oh whatever it is, it is not her fault. My sister is amazing’’ she defended.

‘’She is but she has unresolved issues. I am too old to be playing love triangle games.’’ I said.

‘’Unresolved how? I am confused’’ Nuerkie said.

‘’Her mood changed immediately she saw some guy called Chris at church. she was distracted the rest of the date. If I did not know better, I will say it is juju’’ I said.

‘’Chris?? I have to call Elorm right away’’ she said.

‘’This man must be so important that you are abandoning this lovely drink and food I am supposed to make you. Everybody leaves me for Chris’’ I joked and pouted.

‘’Oh come on, don’t be like that. I will never say no to food. I will call her after’’ she said and put her phone in her bag.

‘’Who is he?’’ I asked

‘’That is Elorm’s story to tell, not mine. But trust me, she will not do you dirty. You will definitely work out’’ she said.

‘’It’s alright, I have made up my mind for the two of us. We should stay friends and business partners. With what I saw, that is the best. I know that is the conclusion she will come to. I just need her to decide for herself. It is best we remain friends and keep it professional’’ I said.

”Awwww” Nuerkie pouted.

Nuerkie stayed for about two hours, she ended up in the kitchen with me. Even Elorm’s first day at the restaurant, I did not let her in the kitchen. Nuerkie has this pure energy I liked, she was definitely bad at cooking but that gave us something to joke about.

‘’Look I barely have time to cook for myself, that is why I order food all the time. This is so good’’ she said as she enjoyed her meal.

‘’Then lets get married. I like to cook, you like to eat. We are a match made in heaven’’ I joked, testing the waters.

‘’No please, I do not do my friend’s leftovers’’ she said.

‘’Ouch, I am nobody’s leftover , I am a whole meal, you know it’’ I flirted and we both laughed.

After her meal, she decided to make a mocktail for herself. I sat across the bar, giving her instructions. She kept fumbling so I entered that small space with her. While teaching her, our hands brushed all the times I corrected her grip on the shaker. The space was so tight that her cute behind pressed briefly against my thigh. Being taller, I caught a glimpse of her cleavage occasionally. What kind of temptation is this on a Sunday afternoon?  We finished the drinks and she celebrated with triumph. Without thinking, I pulled her into a hug. She stiffened for less than second and then melted into it. For some reason, the hug lingered, I kissed the top of her head. She pulled back, looking flustered.

‘’Thanks for the meal but I have to run’’ she said hiding, she looked embarassed.

‘’I am sorry Nuerkie’’ I apologized

‘’sure’’ she started to walk away.

On instinct, I reached and caught her hand.

‘’Wait, look at me’’ I said, she hesitated before facing me me. I got closer facing her, I noticed her breathing was heavy, not in a scared way. I stepped closer, lifted her chin gently and kissed her. She didn’t hold back, it deepened and as my hands reached for her waist. She pushed me away and burst into tongues. I was confused.

‘’Don’t call me again, this never happened’’ she said and then she was gone.

What if I was meant to find Nuerkie through Elorm? Our lives and schedules fit, we love the same things. I think I even have more in common with her than Elorm. I went back to work to try and forget what just happened while the taste of her lips lingered…

CHRIS

I drove to a restaurant to eat before going to wait at Elorm’s. She had gone out with the chef, I parked my car, reclined my seat and slept. After a while, I was awakened by a knock on my window. It was Auntie Dee, she looked like she just got back from second service. I stepped out of the car.

‘’Good afternoon, Auntie Dee’’ I greeted

‘’Good afternoon Mr Chris. Why are you waiting outside? Let us go in. How long have you been here?’’ she asked

‘’Not long’’ I lied

‘’Have you called Elorm?’’ she asked.

‘’yes but she had to go somewhere. I do not mind waiting for her. How is Mr. Ameve?’’ I asked.

‘’He is fine, he is in Anloga. He will come tomorrow’’

She led the way into the house. She offered to cook for me but I politely declined. Later  she returned to the porch where I sat .

‘’I am in the bakery if you need anything. I have to make small achoomo for my friend’’ she said.

‘’Oh! May I assist you? It will be a nice opportunity to learn how to make it’’ I said and she agreed after giggling. This will be a great opportunity to escape the boredom of waiting.

She gave me a pink apron and made me take off my shoes, then handed me a pair of crocs which I am sure belong to Elorm, she added shoe covers, hair net and nose masks. She also wore everything else except the nose mask. I dare not question my elders on minute details. I was impressed by the sanitary standards. We washed our hands and got busy.

We had a lovely chat and I shared memories of Christmas in my childhood, and she shared hers as well.  We finished and cleaned up the bakery. As we waited for the chips to cool before packing them. We heard Elorm’s voice.

‘’Mama, I saw Chris’ car, where is he?’’ she started shouting as she approached the bakery.

‘’I am here’’ I answered and she stopped in her tracks.

‘’So since you have seen your friend, you can not greet’’ her mother exclaimed and Elorm and I laughed. It reminded us of the first day I stepped into their home.

She exchanged pleasantries with her mother before Auntie Dee left.  She walked towards me.

‘’Sorry for getting into your space. I wanted to learn how to make achoomo and help your mother’’ I said.

‘’What do you want?’’ she asked looking distraught. I excused myself, rushed to the car and came back holding a velvet drawstring bag.

‘’I believe you have been looking for this’’ I said as I brought out the bracelet.

‘’OMG! Yes but Gwen told me she could not find it’’ she exclaimed as she took it and placed it on her wrist ‘’And the clasp has been fixed!! Thank you’’ she added all giddy. The icy look she had melted, she warmed up a bit. She quickly stopped herself from getting too excited.

‘’And one more thing’’ I took out the necklace made for her. It was a simple gold paper clip-styled necklace.

‘’Awwww Chris. Please do not do this’’ she said in a shy voice as she buried her face in her palms. I gently pushed them away. I stood behind her, shifted her braids, she held them up as I fastened it . It matched her attire and skin tone perfectly. She turned to look at me and giggled, pointing to my head. I was still wearing the hair net and we both laughed.

We stepped out of the bakery and I took off all the protective items given to me.

‘’Want to come inside?’’ she asked as we walked towards the main gate.

‘’I wish, but if I collapse in a couch. I do not know when I will get up. I am so exhausted’’ I said.

‘’You said you wanted to talk’’ she said.

‘’Yes, but today I came to beg you to unblock me. Let us start from there’’ I pleaded. She played with her necklace and made a playful frown.

‘’No’’ she said.

‘’Alright, what will it take? Since the jewellery didn’t work, name your price’’ I said.

‘’Your car’’ she said.

‘’Here’’ I said and handed her the keys with no hesitation. She took it and I pulled out my phone to call Izzy to arrange transport for me. She stood there shocked as I spoke on the phone.

‘’ Ei! I am joking oo, they can’t play with you at all. Please take your keys back and cancel the ride.’’ She said.

‘’Are you sure? I really do not mind’’ I said

‘’Yes I am’’ she said.

‘’You know, keep the keys. When you are ready to unblock me then you give it back’’ I said.

 She quickly took out her phone and unblocked me on call as well as WhatsApp.

‘’What about the rest? And Auntie Dee’s phone?’’ I asked. She smiled and unblocked me from the others and promised to work on her mum’s later.

‘’Thank you Sunshine’’

‘’So cancel the ride!!’’ she exclaimed trying to hand me my keys back.

‘’I really do not mind but if it makes you uncomfortable, then fine’’ I said and called Izzy to just send the driver instead. I was too tired to drive myself.

‘’Happy now?’’ I asked and reluctantly took the keys back.

‘’Yes’’ she said.

‘’So when are you free to talk? I will come pick you up’’ I said.

‘’Aburi again?’’ she asked.

‘’No but if you want Aburi too, I am down. Just note that, no sex, and I am dead serious. I have been scarred since the last time’’ I said and she could not stop laughing.

‘’Elorm Mele¹ serious’’ I added.

‘’Ei, when did you start speaking Ewe?’’ she asked in a surprised tone amidst laughter.

‘’Today, from Auntie Dee’’ I answered.

We settled on Saturday to have our talk. I bade Auntie Dee farewell when she brought me some of the achoomo I aided her with. Elorm and I spoke more about her business before Kwame the driver arrived. She walked me to my car and I gave her a long hug. I whispered gently into her ear ‘’I miss you’’.

ELORM

I was very skeptical about seeing Chris, but he returning my bracelet changed everything. He appeared more calm and less edgy this time around. He always finds a way to make me smile and break my walls. Now I feel so bad about how my date with T went. He is such a great guy and that is it. I want to like him because he is a good person so far. Just one look at Chris, and I could not focus on him anymore. I was engrossed in my thoughts when my mother entered my room. She admired my necklace.

‘’This Mr. Chris is a nice man ooo. E buna ame². He respects, and who went to church with you? Auntie Marian said there was a huge bodyguard with you during first service’’ My mother asked as she sat on my bed.

‘’That was a friend’’ I answered.

‘’So because of that friend, you let Chris wait for you? ah well, I hope this friend was worth it. I will keep praying for you, you are grown. You have to focus on one person at this age. It is not really a good look if you are jumping here and there’’ she advised.

‘’Mama, I am not jumping here and there. They are all just friends’’ I said

‘’Friends do not buy fancy jewellery and bake with your mother. I have said enough, I am your mother. Only I will tell you the truth’’ she said and walked away, two minutes later she came back with stories and Nollywood examples about how playing men will lead to nowhere. I knew trying to defend myself will not end the conversation.

Later in the evening, after taking a warm bath and wearing my nightshirt. I received a call from Worla.

‘’It’s raining men, hallelujah, it’s raining men…’’ she sang as soon as I picked up.

‘’Fila3 no get leg’’ I said

‘’ but e fit walk, san dey fly’’ she replied and we both burst into laughter. It was an old term we learnt from Uncle Rodney which directly translates to ‘’Gossip has no legs but it can walk and even fly’’.

‘’from Dee’s breaking news?’’ I asked referring to our mother.

‘’Not at all, from Lante and Jane. Lante sent a picture of you and chef, but Jane’s own was an accident. She sent a pic of Jonathan and I saw you and Chris in the background. Madam start talking’’ she said.

‘’Let me kill two birds with one stone, add Nuerkie to the call so I tell you both’’ I said and she did.

I narrated how my day went and how bad I felt about the way I treated T. Nuerkie was oddly quiet during the call.

‘’Kiekie, is everything okay? You haven’t even exclaimed’’ I asked

‘’no, I am trying to be a good listener’’ she said.

‘’Looks like you need to let chef down easily but not now’’ Worla said.

‘’why not now?’’ I asked

‘’let us see how Chris moves first’’ Worla said.

‘’No, I hate to make T a second option. He is not a bad person, I will prefer we end on a good note than a bad one’’ I exclaimed.

‘’True, I agree Elorm. Quite unfortunately, I have to leave this call and talk to my dad’’ Nuerkie said and cut the call before anyone utter a word.

‘’She is so weird tonight’’ Worla commented

‘’yeah, I will check up on her later in the week’’ I said.

‘’I get you, I kept Jonathan as my safety net for long till I gave him a chance. See how that ended. If you guys are better of friends then cut the cord asap’’ Worla advised.

‘’Yes but let me do that after my talk on Saturday with Chris.’’ I said.

‘’True, but chef too looks nice. Have you…?’’ she asked and winked

‘’No, I am serious about abstaining. Speaking of abstaining, Chris said if we go to Aburi, he is not having sex’’ I said and Worla laughed.

‘’haahahhaha, he will fold like a house of cards’’ Worla teased.

‘’he said he is serious’’ I said.

‘’Interesting’’ she said.

We spoke more about each others life and I updated her on the sermon mama gave me about changing men. She mentioned she had also received that sermon on countless occasions. As soon as I hung up, I noticed I had received notifications from Chris. Just then a request for a video call from him came through, I adjusted my bonnet before answering.

‘’Beautiful Elorm’’ he said as soon as I answered. From the headboard, I knew he was in the house at Ridge. It is interesting the details you know about someone from video calls.

‘’Thank you’’ I replied with a grin.

‘’I sent you messages, I was just double-checking to be sure that I have been remained unblocked’’ he said and I laughed.

‘’well, let see how it goes’’ I threatened.

‘’I miss calling you, talking to you…and you know’’ he said and bit his lower lip.

‘’Mr. Riverson, please’’ I warned.

‘’hm! the last time you called me that, we ended up somewhere. Please don’t take us there yet. Before you break my heart’’ he said.

‘’I am not sorry about that day at all. Anyway, what made you come to church? you mentioned you go to church. I am still not over it’’ I said, trying to change the topic.

He then narrated how he ended up with the Harmony church by visiting their run club. With time, he joined the bible study and before he realized, he was attending fully.

‘’The sad thing is that, I did not even realise how lost I was till I started church again. Harmony has its downsides as well but they are weaknesses we can deal with. No church is perfect, only Christ is’’ he said.

‘’Amen!’’ I replied and he laughed. We continued our chat, discussing and sharing knowledge about various churches we knew and those we felt preached false doctrine.

‘’Before I say goodbye to my Sunshine. I would like to invite you to our church service next week Sunday’’ he said.

‘’Sure, I will be there. By the way, what is up with this name ? Your sister also said it at Gwen’s party?’’ I asked.

‘’Don’t worry, all will be revealed on Saturday. Goodnight’’

‘’Goodnight’’.

Author’s Note

Two more episodes and we wrap up Life of El. I hope you are having a great time. The next series will be Church Angels, a retelling of a old story. It might feature some favourites from Life of El.

Follow us on instagram (selimsaidso) for more details.

LEXICON

1. Mele – translates to I am in Ewe.
2. E buna ame – He/She shows respect (Ewe language)